Is It You or Your Job?

I’ve spent hundreds of hours coaching professionals over the last few years. Many of them (most of them, actually) are struggling in the workplace. I mean, most people don’t work with a coach if they have everything they want and feel extremely fulfilled and regulated and highly compensated for the work they do.

That said, I have enough experience at this point to notice a few themes most of my clients fall into (and what I noticed about myself).

Yes, there are different personalities. Or, more accurately, different protective behaviors and patterns people developed as children that now subconsciously play out in the adult workforce.

We can live like that for a long time without understanding or being aware of the protective behaviors that are driving the bus. Some people live like that forever.

And these protective behaviors are often part of why we are successful — an overwhelming sense of responsibility, the drive to be perfect, people-pleasing, absorbing the emotions of others.

We do all of these things to feel safe.

Or more accurately, for our nervous system to feel safe.

The brain’s number one job is to keep us safe and away from pain. Not happy. Not fulfilled. Not respected.

So if it learned that acting a certain way as a child kept us safe, it will keep using that strategy as an adult. The autonomic nervous system takes over so we don’t even have to think about it or be aware we’re doing it.

Then we become adults and enter the workforce. The “real” world the Cosby Show taught us about.

Only we thought it was about buying a house, paying bills, and putting food on the table.
And it is.

But no one taught us about the other threats in the workplace:​
discrimination, harassment, bullying, abuse of power, covert control, emotional abuse.

Or what happens when you focus so hard on building your career that you eventually don’t know where the job stops and you begin.

Or how your protective behaviors may have been the reason you chose your career in the first place, only to now be tired.

And not like you need a nap tired.

Like your soul is tired. (I remember saying that exact phrase.)

Sometimes it’s you.
Sometimes it’s your workplace.
Sometimes it’s your role.
And sometimes it’s a combination.

That’s why I created this quiz: Is It You or Your Job?​

If work is taking more than it gives these days, I invite you to take the quiz and notice how reading the results feels in your body.

Noticing how your nervous system responds to things is the first step in identifying your protective behaviors and taking back control of the bus.

The good news is that no matter the outcome, you always have the power to change, if you want to.

🌸

If your results indicate that the problem is your workplace and you don’t know what to do about it, I now offer a 90-minute strategy session for exactly this reason.

These types of workplaces require strategy. And it can be very difficult to step back and figure out a game plan when you’re actively in a toxic or abusive environment and highly dysregulated (because of how the brain works, not because of you).

You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of what’s really going on and a trauma-informed, HR-savvy plan for how to move forward in a way that protects both your career and your well-being.

You can schedule a strategy session here: https://calendly.com/katiejeancoaching/90-minute-strategy-session